I know my problems seem trivial
But I just want you to see inside my head
I have two best friends, and many other close friends
But at times as you know, other people flow in and out of life
So anyway it was the beginning of sophomore year
And one of my friends got a girlfriend
I pushed him to it and I knew it would be good for him
So during the first couple of months I spent less time with him
But I still had other people to hang out with
But then my other best friend had gotten a girlfriend
And I had no one really to hang out with
So then came the decline
I still stayed close to the first
Tagged along wherever I went
Added in my two cents
But it wasn’t the same
I don’t blame my best friends at all
I love them with all my heart
And I didn’t blame them. Not even a little bit.
It was my life to live.
And so I moved on.
Tried to hang out with the others.
But I had nothing to do.
I did didn’t text half of them.
And the others I didn’t have their number.
So I went on with my life.
But I realized it was no usE.
I enjoyed the teasing.
I couldn’t deal with it.
But Being alone.
I could stand the pain.
And the more distant I became.
The more they blamed me.
But how could you.
Make fun of me, take my gum, tell me to change, and expect. yourself to be my friend?
And I put up with it in my head.
Until I cracked.
But they felt no pity on me.
And then I received some advice and realized it wasn’t a battle worth fighting.
So I went back to it.
With a smile on my face.
Hoping someone would save me.
Then summer came and went.
And it was a new year and a new me.
My friends were back from their relationships.
And i thought I could conquer the world.
And I did.
I laughed harder.
I smiled better.
And I thought “this is the life”.
But I didn’t realize that I kept ignoring this fact.
That even though I still tried to keep that side friendship going.
I realized I was a lot of work to put up with the shit.
And then I finally gave up.
It took a lot of thinking.
But I realized I couldn’t live my life being controlled by someone else.
And so I want to send a formal apology.
To those people who thought they were my “friends”
I know who my friends are.
And I like them just the way they are.